Little League - Giant Outrage

Totally inappropriate punishment. Those most effected by the ruling are the kids whose only crime was to play ball better than any other team out there. 

Top of the guilty list are the coaches that at least didn't do their job to vet the addresses of the kids and at worst falsified and cheated the rest of the world. Close behind in the line are the officials of the little league associated that didn't properly crosscheck the team lineup and also failed to define a process that would prevent such an occurrence. 
Colour me outraged. Apologies to the kids that are hurting today. Shame to the adults that have disappointed so many.

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Chef - No Clutch

The film starts out in first gear as it sledges through the setup where a chubby chef flames out at a restaurant that is stuck with a decade-old menu. Dustin Hoffman plays the owner determined to steadfastly adhere to a greatest hits menu of the 90's. Usually, Hoffman's mere presence lifts every scene and film that he is in. Not this time. That setup took over an hour.

Next,, the Chef  (John Favreau) melts down in public by calling out food critic Oliver Platt about a negative tweet. A tweet war that contains a few funny but not memorable lines transpire that are insufficient to provide lubrication. The clutch slips and we remain in first gear.

A contrived subplot of Chef and his estranged son predictably brings an epiphany that he has sacrificed his personal life for his career.

Cut to Miami where his too-good ex-wife hooks him up with a nasty food truck that Chef and son must refurbish. The result is the greatest roach coach food ever produced, the kid learns to cook, and father and son bond over the kids twitter knowledge.

Another attempt at shifting out of first fails despite the cameo provided by Robert Downey, Jr. I heard a few gear teeth shearing of about this time. Off we race on a cross-I 10 with stops in New Orleans, Nobody Cares, TX.. there could have been more cities but the drone of the road had me nodded off in the back seat.

Finally, our characters (who seem as bored by the film as I was by that time) putter into Los Angeles slowing to a merciful halt in front of ex-wife's house; Whereupon, the Chef butchers his entire family and starts a Carne di Homo Sapien restaurant. At least, that's what would have been more interesting.

Stars galore pass through this slow motion ride toward the bin. The sum total of all players yanking together couldn't pull this food truck out of the mire.

And here I am writing a negative blog about movie that centers around a negative blog. Deja Fekkin Vu.

CNN - The Sixties

"If you remember the Sixties you weren't there," claims Grace Slick.
I grew up in the Sixties and I do remember those years. They were the years that influenced me more than any decade in my life. I spent time in the Haight in 1968 in a haven of young hippie gals that shared a dishevelled mansion on Ashbury. I was so involved that I missed my turn with Grace Slick. Reportedly, I was the only musician in the Bay Area that didn't bang her that year.
I wasn't a hippie, though I did enjoy their drugs and women. I have always considered myself a beatnik - either the youngest of the Original Beats or the first of the New Beat Generation. Hippies read as false then as they do now. Peace and Love. Great sentiments for children books but excruciatingly naïve, even for teenagers of that day.
CNN has produced a series that tugs at the memories of septuagenarians about that enigmatic time in their lives that is quite compelling.
Tonight's episode energizes the inertia that propels conspiracy theorists concerning the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I am certain that Carlos Marcello ordered the murder of the President. Carlos was the Don of the original Mafia in America that controlled the New Orleans area. Oswald worked for the Marcello organization. Most everybody in the Mississippi Delta region worked for Marcello indirectly. I was 10 years old at the time, living in the Desire neighbourhood of New Orleans. I don't recall anyone having a doubt that Marcello, who was attending a deportation hearing at the time of the assassination initiated by US Attorney General Robert F Kennedy. Carlos solved his immigration issues by "cutting the head off the chicken". Case closed.

World Cup Opener

I am one of those kids that ignored the "soccer is un-American and must be hated" lessons.


I love football... both kinds.


I appreciate the Pop Warner version, though it's rather boring most of the time. It shouldn't take 3 hours to play to a 60 minute game. They play for 10 seconds and then stand around for between 30 seconds and 10 minutes. Plenty of action when  they play. Then, we get to see a replay of the same play in the interim and hot girls drinking beer if there's time for commercials. Despite the tedious nature of the game, I still love American football.


But, not as much as I love the real football - the football that the rest of world plays. For decades the American retort has been that there isn't enough scoring in football. Those that believe that myth have never watched a match in an Irish Pub. Plenty of scoring there!


Seriously, I've sat on the edge of my seat for 90+ minutes watching nil games (0 to 0) that were the best sporting events I've witnessed.


Every four years we are treated to a true World Championship tournament that is watched by about 4 billion out of the 7 billion on the planet. It is truly a super bowl.


This year the World Cup is hosted by Brasil, which is predictably living down to expectations. I was offered an assignment reporting the action live. I countered with a proposal to report bar-side from my homeland. So, here I am where I don't need to speak Portuguese to order a drink or prostitute.


Anyway, that's a fractious rendition of what brought me to the Land of Sky Blue Waters.


Opening Ceremony
Beautifully choreographed festival of colours led to an opening kick off by Robert Downey, Jr. A dazzling, dizzying array of festive dancers followed by Ekto-man. Weird!


Opening Match - Brasil v Croatia
The host country has never lost an opening match. Why? It's a setup. Like if the NFL started each season with the Super Bowl victors facing off against the Jacksonville Jaguars.


Brasil almost reversed the trend by scoring an own-goal (think of Vikings defender Jim Marshall running the wrong way to score a touchdown for the opposition) for the first score of this World Cup. Then, Brasil scored a legitimate goal against Croatia not long before halftime.


Banks of lights in the stadium flickered in and out to disprove Brasil's claims that it is a developing nation. Don't even get me started on the subway strike broken up by legions of Policia.


An exceptionally bad call by the ref pointing to the penalty spot to give Brasil a 2-1 advantage. The keeper had his mitts on the ball and didn't reject the shot. That's how bad Croatia is.


Croatia scored a spirited goal that would have drawn them level if it hadn't been waved off by a referee determined to double his errors.


Late in  the match the Croatia goalie nodded off while Brasil rolled a joint, smoked it, and then fed a slow rolling ball that barely had enough gumption to reach the back of the onion bag (net).


Final result: Brasil scored 4 goals, 3 for themselves and 1 for Croatia.


Thus far, Brasil has scored all of the goals in World Cup 2014.


An inauspicious start to the greatest spectacle in sports.


The bad news is that America (we win everything) has no chance. The US team is the equivalent of the Jacksonville Jaguars in this tournament. But don't despair, America is only 4 or 5 World Cups away from being contenders. It is possible that our grandchildren will see America lose a final. You have to look on the bright side.

Nest - Lawson Hancock

Cafe' Be At Studios first recorded Lawson Hancock in our modest facility in Tallahassee. The surroundings were crude, which worked well for a neophyte songwriter and singer as an introduction to the recording process. We laid several tracks with me on keys and Lawson on guitar. If I remember correctly the first song that we recorded together was Greg Lake's "Lucky Man." At that time Lawson owned an Ovation guitar, but was just learning to play. If I'm the best guitarist in the room something is terribly wrong.

We recorded a few of Lawson's original songs while the red wine flowed and we had a great time doing it. I had no expectations of him doing much other than entertaining himself and eventually giving up. I've seen it hundreds of times.

I taught Lawson the basics of multi-track recording, proper mic techniques, building tracks, and mixing and mastering the song. Unlike all of those before him that had given up so easily, Lawson actually listened to what I was saying, asked intelligent questions, did his homework, and practiced his fingers to the nub.

Fast forward 2 years and the Cafe' Be At Workshop is thumping down in Tampa. By this time we had two state-of-the-art Alesis ADAT 8-Track recorders, a Ghost mixing console, racks of effects, keyboards everywhere, and 1100 feet of space to get weird. Lawson was ready to record an entire album at Cafe' Be At. We booked time for him and the process began.

Over the course of a few days we developed a working pattern. We'd meet at the Fox & Hound for Guinness, Jameson, and chips with the most delicious Guinness gravy to set an agenda. What songs were we going to work on? What tracks needed to be laid? What worked or didn't work from the night before. Lawson soon embraced our surroundings as another classroom where he was learning the nuances of the creative process.

My son, Redmoon Blackwater, started out engineering the project but soon I witnessed him blossoming into a producer. They connected on several songs that I wouldn't have been able to produce. I stepped back and let my son take over. Lawson was fearful at first -- Redmoon was scary Indian -- and resistant to the change. One night I got too drunk to pee straight leaving Lawson with no other alternative than work with Redmoon. What came out of that night was spectacular. The two were simpatico, of one mind on the project, and Lawson shed his misgivings and pushed on to create an amazing first album that incorporated his lyrics beautifully with his improving guitar chops. And we helped Lawson bring out the truth of his own heart.

Fast forward again 12 years and 5 albums later. Lawson Hancock is a songwriter with a clear understanding of how to emote his message through music.

Lawson's latest album is titled Nest. As a friend of Lawson, I have my own spin on what the title means, but I don't want to spoil your interpretation.

Track 1 - Coast to Coast (just guessing at the song names. I have a pre-release pressing). A very '60's sounding vocal and chord progression infused with

Track 2 - Moody Blues feel with a new hip feel.

Track 3 - Great feeling, swampy rock song

Chopped Canada - The Proof Is In The Pudding (S1-E1)

I am addicted to the show "Chopped". I was lured by Ted Allen because of this appearances on "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy".

The premise for "Chopped" is that four chefs gather to compete with mystery boxes of ingredients to create an appetizer, entre', and dessert. Some of the combinations of required ingredients would put Emeril on his knees crying for his mother. Make a dessert out of chicken livers, canned spaghetti, Gummi worms, and Funyons.

Amazingly, they avoid all of the clichés in this eponymous edition. No one says, "Eh", like we expect. None of the contestants coat their dishes in maple syrup, eh.

They don't address the eternal question of, "If Canadian bacon is actually ham what do they call bacon?" Perhaps, that mystery will be solved in an upcoming episode.

The Canadian rendition of the show lacks a major element: Ted Allen. But, I may warm up to the New-Mountie-in-town.

Rachel vs Guy - Celebrity Cookoff (S3-E2)

Hawaiian Luau

I predict Chris Katan goes home. I'm ready for Vanilla Ice to leave the planet not just the show.

Tiffany is awesome. She is my odds-on favourite to win the whole thing. But she gets in a little trouble by trying to fry won tons one at a time in the deep fryer. Pretty boy Jake needs the fryer. "Too many cooks in the kitchen,:" he says.

Pretty boy Jake doesn't know how to mix a simple Mai Thai. However Katan is mixing the drinks for his team so Jake will get a pass.

50 bites by 8 chefs and a Mai Thai from each team.

Judy Gold had to make egg rolls require non-Kosher pork and shrimp.

Florence Henderson samples the drink for quality control. Her ribs look great.

Penn is always a hoot, "The chicken tastes like it was born in the sauce."

Pretty boy Jake is flirting with gals at the bar serving drinks. Women are melting at his smile. I hate him.

Overall, the dishes look great. I don't see any glaring train wrecks, but I still favour Katan for elimination.

Vanilla Ice never shuts up. His dessert looks great, but too sweet for the judges.

Herschel Walker is delivering his chicken dish that looks great. He used peanuts in his sauce, but what I heard him say was, "My penis may just save the day." Try to get that image out of your head.

Tiffany was missing salt from her Ahi Tuna tacos according to the judges, but the diners love her dish.

All served. It's judgement time. Florence is talking smack to Herschel Walker. I love it.

Mark Murphy is the guest judge.

Vanilla Ice had the favourite dish of Team Guy. Wow, they liked Chris Katan's drink. It must have tasted better than it looked. I'm not a fan of green slime.

Now for Team Rachel. Judy Gold had the favourite dish. Penn Gillette had the lowest rated dish. He defied Rachel's advice and it burnt him.

Team Rachelle wins. Momma Brady just won MVP.

I called it. Chris Katan is eliminated. He was too busy trying to be funny (not succeeding) to cook.

Looking forward to next week. Love this show.