The film starts out in first gear as it sledges through the setup where a chubby chef flames out at a restaurant that is stuck with a decade-old menu. Dustin Hoffman plays the owner determined to steadfastly adhere to a greatest hits menu of the 90's. Usually, Hoffman's mere presence lifts every scene and film that he is in. Not this time. That setup took over an hour.
Next,, the Chef (John Favreau) melts down in public by calling out food critic Oliver Platt about a negative tweet. A tweet war that contains a few funny but not memorable lines transpire that are insufficient to provide lubrication. The clutch slips and we remain in first gear.
A contrived subplot of Chef and his estranged son predictably brings an epiphany that he has sacrificed his personal life for his career.
Cut to Miami where his too-good ex-wife hooks him up with a nasty food truck that Chef and son must refurbish. The result is the greatest roach coach food ever produced, the kid learns to cook, and father and son bond over the kids twitter knowledge.
Another attempt at shifting out of first fails despite the cameo provided by Robert Downey, Jr. I heard a few gear teeth shearing of about this time. Off we race on a cross-I 10 with stops in New Orleans, Nobody Cares, TX.. there could have been more cities but the drone of the road had me nodded off in the back seat.
Finally, our characters (who seem as bored by the film as I was by that time) putter into Los Angeles slowing to a merciful halt in front of ex-wife's house; Whereupon, the Chef butchers his entire family and starts a Carne di Homo Sapien restaurant. At least, that's what would have been more interesting.
Stars galore pass through this slow motion ride toward the bin. The sum total of all players yanking together couldn't pull this food truck out of the mire.
And here I am writing a negative blog about movie that centers around a negative blog. Deja Fekkin Vu.
